the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Archive for the tag “humour”

Friday Funny – Spike Milligan and ‘the grovelling little bastard”

Perfectly put…



I love Spike, always have…ever since I heard “Badjelly The Witch” on Sunday morning radio I fell for that quirky, imaginative sense of telling a story which alienates some and sucks in others. I read his Silly Verse and later owned and read, (and re-read) his war memoirs (which are as sad as they are funny). He was an artist, of sorts, his etchings bordering on the insane yet always gut-wrenchingly hilarious. Then there is The Goons and his movie and TV appearances (The Muppet Show, and his skit with Parky highlights).We share a birthday (although he is older than me) and depression, and the ability to make or lose friends by attempts at humor.

I am flabbergasted he never received a Knighthood like his contemporary Harry Secombe. Still, he would have likely turned it down, or as this clip shows, had it taken off him…you cannot script funny like this.




From Wikipedia;

The Prince of Wales was a fan, and sent Milligan a congratulatory message on a live TV program honouring Spike in 1994. The comedian proceeded to call the prince a “little grovelling bastard”, causing a predictable stir.[33] He later faxed the prince, saying “I suppose a knighthood is out of the question?” It was not; in reality he and the Prince were very close friends,[32] and Milligan had already been made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) in 1992 (honorary because of his Irish citizenship). He was made an (honorary) Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire (KBE) in 2000.


Hello…? Happy Valentine’s Day

Someone with an apparent skill with splicing and desktop software (and obviously too much time on their hands) has come up with a beaut little clip of screen dialogue and put it to that most tacky of 80s love songs, Lionel Richie’s “Hello”.


Disclaimer; the alfmeister takes no responsibility for the inane humming in your head of this song for the remainder of the day.

Asterix and The Actress

One of the more recent volumes of Asterix.

Asterix and Obelix are surprised on their birthday (which is on the same day) and amongst the characters introduced in this one are both of their parents (who also appeared in “How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion…). The fathers have remained behind at their knick knack store and are due to join later but are arrested by some looking to depose Caesar due to a sword and helmet they swapped with a drunk Legionnaire.

In order to retrieve these items the Roman envoy Bogus Genius sends in the actress Latraviata with her consort Fastandfurious to retrieve them from the village where they were given as birthday gifts. The actress has been made up to look like Obelix’s old love-interest, Panacea (who must be said rates with Jessica Rabbit as one the most stunningly drawn cartoon characters – that’s not weird is it?). Read more…

Asterix and The Chieftan’s Shield

File:Asterixcover-11.jpgThis volume (the 11th in the series) is notable for touching base on the Battle of Alesia (“I don’t know where Alesia is?”) which is somewhat ironic as the whereabouts of Alesia itself was not known until after this was printed.

It chronicles the story of how Chief Vitalstatistix came to obtain his well-known shield on which he is carried and the race between Asterix and Obelix to find it before Julius Caesar.

It is the first book to name Vitalstatistix’s wife, Impedimenta, and is one of the few books to not have the bard, Cacofonix tied up at the end (in fact he is shown to be eating and getting merry at the traditional book-ending banquet).

The Gaulish coastline features as the backdrop to this story and makes references specifically to the heath spas and love for wine that dominate the area. Some of the classic characters that pop up are Winesandspirix, the ROman Envoy Noxius Vapus, a lazy Legionnaire Pusillanimus, Lucius Corcumbendibus who is a wheel manufacturer (loosely based on the Michellin factory) and Marcus Carniverus who owns an in serving wine and boar.

Some good bits in this, not one of the best, but certainly not one of the worst.

Obviously never owned a dog!

Following on from print media ads here are some modern-day fails, each product designed to make you cringe, laugh, become scared…and yes, you guessed it, only in America!

If I tried to put one of these on Scuzzy, my Pitty/Staffy X , one of two things would happen;

  1. Scuz will rip me limb from limb and piss into my empty skull
  2. I will locked up for what must amount to bestiality, surely?

Read more…

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