the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Archive for the tag “beer”

Beers I won’t review…


Beers you won't see at Jake the Muss' house...

It changes from man to man, but it would be fair to say that besides beer and sport, women rate as important things to us. Not those we are in a relationship or married to of course but coveting others is a skill and necessity burdened upon us since our evolution from scraping our knuckles in the dirt to using hands to scratch our arses and pick our noses.

But while we will happily allow the three subjects to intermix in advertising we will not allow cross-contamination in naming. Case in point, we will watch boxing with the animalistic tendencies of a shark feeding frenzy and be suitably impressed by (sexy) ring girls, but will not watch women’s boxing. We watch men’s tennis but not women’s (although we will all have screen savers of Sharapova’s peach-shaped arse on our computers). Read more…

How To…


How to open two bottles of beer with the two bottles of beer…

A couple of weeks ago I taught you how to open a single bottle of beer with a cigarette lighter or if you’re so inclined, and weapon which can get purchase, but this week is half of the ultimate test of manhood (or butch womanhood)…and I’m not talking about with your teeth or eye-socket (which I have seen).

To do this does take some practice, skill, and a certain amount of timing. I say timing as I have done this at a party and ended up opening the wrong bottle first which ended up spilling a lot of its contents onto the floor.
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How to…


Open a bottle of beer with a lighter

It still surprises me how many people (and by people, I mean blokes) cannot open a beer bottle with anything other than a bottle opener.So, love, here is a simple step-by-step instruction manual on how to do so with a cigarette lighter.

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Eating Out…nudge, nudge, wink, wink


 

And you don't hear all the school kids in the Mall

The last time I ate at Lone Star was in Rotorua on a rugby trip years ago and I remember two things – being pissed as a fart (but obviously not so drunk as to forget) and the spare ribs! Those morsels of flavour still make me salivate as I think about them, yet so weird that I haven’t been back to any of the franchises since then, more so as they were my customer while working for Vodafone! Read more…

Friday Drinks – Haagen


In what is only a coincidence (announcement of Erceg’s wealth), this weeks drop is Independent Liquor’s Haagen.

Pronounced with a pubic hair in your throat

I first came across this beer while playing for Suburbs’ Socialites (rugby) in Auckland as they sponsored our team. I actually knew of the beer, and the company as I used to look after the account while working for VFNZ and loved visiting the team at Head Office.

For the price it is a great beer and very good at impersonating anything Euro (except for the hangover).

There is not too much to say about this other than you wallies who drink Double Brown, Lion Brown, Ranfurly, and dare I say it, Lion Red, sort yourself out and try this cheap beauty, I doubt you will be disappointed.

Best served with anything, especially chips and dip, sausages and bread, cigarettes, and in large amounts – hell, it’s cheap and tastes alright, so who cares?!?

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