the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Archive for the tag “adverts”

Obviously never owned a dog!


Following on from print media ads here are some modern-day fails, each product designed to make you cringe, laugh, become scared…and yes, you guessed it, only in America!

If I tried to put one of these on Scuzzy, my Pitty/Staffy X , one of two things would happen;

  1. Scuz will rip me limb from limb and piss into my empty skull
  2. I will locked up for what must amount to bestiality, surely?

Read more…

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The lost art of advertising…


The iron content in this girl's diet needs to be dialed back a little

I was watching “The Graham Norton Show” the other night and he presented a blanket to the gorgeous Katy Perry…yes, a blanket. As the story goes there is some sharing under the bedclothes that everyone partakes in, but doesn’t discuss in public…well, at least until now.

What is commonly referred to as the “Dutch Oven” seems to be a regular occurrence in the Perry/Brand boudoir although each is blaming the other for low-scale gassing. In finding the actual ad (from the US of course!) I found some print ads that I thought to share…so do the products still exist? Read more…

Remember when utes went ‘off-road’?


So the new Toyota ad is all over the telly and to be honest, it grates me. While a bit of fantasy, make-believe and exceeding the physically possible  is welcomed to depict a story there is a point where it becomes too much. Maybe we need stories more and more far-fetched for our dulled senses in this day of CGI, special effects, and media spin, but a boar riding a bike with a monkey dressed as Biggles riding shotgun is even pushing the realms of what a meth-user might believe. I mean how would a chimp, native to central Africa where dairies are non-existent, possibly know of the flavour Hokey Pokey? C’mon!

But there once was a time when ads which went beyond the realms of reality and yet were still somewhat believable, and of course, humourous. And the mud on the trusty farm-ute (utility to our North American readers) was actually real as it was used for chucking in dead ewes, the odd shot rabbit, odd fencing tools and hay bales, and a mode of transport for the loyal bitch. And real people bought them too…not Remuera house-wives or wannabe off-roaders who still think 4L is the capacity of the sump (and don;t know what the sump is). People like NZ’s favourite larrikin, the Croc Dundee of the Urewas, Barry Crump.

Come on a wee trip back in time to a world long-lost to overseas investors and dairy farms…when men were men, and woolsheds were backwater single’s bars…

Read more…

Friday Funny…Part I of II


Didn’t life just seem so much easier?

PC-Patrol, Fuck Off!

Back in a time when kids were belted for speaking out of turn, and wives cooked, cleaned, and ignored their husband’s extra-marital affairs. A time where service actually meant service; an elderly gentleman came out and filled your car, checked your levels, and didn’t say a thing. Now a pimply faced twat with the social grace of a rutting rhino who sit behind the counter tossing off over a FHM mag. Yeah, life seemed so much simpler…

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Source; sachingcat. thanks mate.

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