the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Eat Shit and Die; KFC’s Mexican ‘offering’…


When I was younger, my older brother once farted on my head just at that point where I breathed in...this burger tasted worse...

When I was younger, my older brother once farted on my head just at that point where I breathed in…this burger tasted worse…

And by offering, I mean some sort of Pagan-esque sacrificial lamb, and by lamb I mean chicken (at least I think it was chicken), and by chicken, I mean something crumbed somewhat attempting to resemble a chicken (albeit minus wings, legs, beak and ‘cluck’) yet had the taste and complexion of a sun-dried inner tube left to marinate in a sespool of rancid cow’s piss…

What? No idea, but it was advertised as the Mexican Zinger Burger…

Where? KFC Rangiora…

When? When I come out of this gastro-influenced coma I will endeavour to remember. But it was sometime after work last week, and sometime before violently scratching the back of my throat with my fingers in an effort to extricate whatever had crawled in there and died…

Coin? All things considered (it being a combo), too much. In fact, I would expect to be paid to eat it next time…

Pros? The Mountain Dew, and I bloody well hate Mountain Dew…oh, and the hot blonde behind the counter (who unfortunately didn’t serve me)…

Cons? Everything including the shit-arsed fries (which used to be a KFC speciality), the cold burger, the soggy corn chips layered to give an air of Tijuana but felt more like a mouthful of wet bark, and the cost, which per square inch is more than Auckland property.

 

And herein ends the lesson….

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