the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Enough is enough…

It’s the kind of story that makes us laugh in TV shows and movies – boy meets girl through email or a website, falls in love with the imagination of who she is, and is ultimately disappointed in the face to face meeting…

…in a roundabout way that happened to me today, and boy am I fucked off with it. OK, it wasn’t a girl, it was a burger, but the principles are the same, let me explain (although for those of you who have read my rantings over time will know where I am going with this).

On what planet does this…

It was an impulse decision to get some fast food for lunch and my attempt to get McDonald’s was scuppered by a lack of parking and I happened across a Burger King on my travels. Now I am one of BK’s biggest fans, the Whopper family has given me a load of fine memories and as I walked into the restaurant (is it me or is the term ‘restaurant’ a bit too much for a burger bar?) I was fair salivating at the prospect. And whereas I would normally order and devour my standard fare a change was in the winds and looking at the board the King’s Selection caught my eye, and in particular the Streaky Bacon Steakhouse. At $11.60 for a regular meal it had me thinking I was onto a gourmet winner, the picture depicting it almost sated my appetite alone…

And then came the face to face…


…look like this???

I have spewed forth about this in the past, but as the title suggest, I’ve had a gutsful. Above is how it is sold to you, to the left is the harsh reality. It actually had me double-taking to determine if I had actually received the right burger. The red onion was poking out the sides of the deflated buns in a manner that reminded me of 70s porn stars bikini-lines and to the uninitiated it would have seemed that I had ordered an onion burger as the bacon, steak pattie, cheese and space was lost to my sight hidden somewhere within the floppy, sorry looking buns.

However I am a consummate professional and proceeded to eat it, and can honestly say that the burger tasted nice…not enough to make me want more (other than the fact that I only felt half-full) but, well, pleasant.

But there is no taking away the fact that BK, and their contemporaries McDs and KFC are fleecing us dry with over-priced and poor quality food. In what I would deem as a bona-fide breach of the Fair Trading Act, what is presented and what is provided are as far apart as Hitler is from Gandhi.

So, from this moment forth, this spells the end of my forays into their world. My money is worth more than that. Even Pizza Hut and Hells Pizza supply you with something pretty bloody close to what is on the board, and when you think Hut can give me two Classics for less than the meagre offerings of the burger joints, it makes economic (and quite possibly gastronomic) sense where to buy when the munchies and hangovers come calling…and to those lower socio-economic families I see in these places at 8 in the morning, this is possibly part of the reason why you are living on the poverty line, not to mention your likely pressure on the health system in years to come…get out, go find an alternative…dare I say it, Big Ben’s Pies seems a fitting substitute now…

RIP, Double Whopper with Cheese…and in the case of this particular ‘establishment’ RIP to the Jimmy Dean, Marilyn Monroe and classic cars that adorned the walls…

RIP, Quarter Pounder…

I will miss you…but I am in a better place now….



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2 thoughts on “Enough is enough…

  1. cremoore on said:

    I laughed as soon as I saw the burger. Hadn’t even read the story yet and knew what the problem would be. Oh, and on another note $11!!!!! WTF??? wow at least here in the states they make it affordable to die fat and slowly $6.50 max for a meal here.

    • the alfmeister on said:

      Yep…as much as a I love a good pig out now and again this time was too much. Do you know how much fish n chips I can get for $11?? I am still editing Chptr 7, have a few posts to do today so will look to get it to you sometime this arvo.

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