Dealing with ingrates…
Being the top bloke that I am, I normally get out of bed first thing, with the kids while the wife sleeps off whatever hangover/come down she is suffering at that given time. Into the kitchen I will normally then proceed to do her jobs by giving the kids breakfast and milo, making lunches for us all, feeding the dogs, fish, and cats, and clearing out the dishwasher (which I filled) from the night before.
Well imagine my shock and horror when this email came through today…
Letter of Complaint
Dear Alfmeister (name changed so as to protect my true identity as a reporter for the Daily Planet)
I’m not sure if you are aware, but you have made a dogs breakfast of my lunch arrangement….
Upon opening my lunchbox, I was surprised to find a sandwich filling comprising of lettuce, cheese, vegemite and avocado. Quite a combination I must say.
When have you had avocado and vegemite together?
This not being to my tasting, I thought I’d eat something else from my lunch box. Alas, there was nothing to behold. I know we are in a ‘sugar-free zone’ this week, but a bit of fruit might have been satisfactory……
I’m not complaining about the fact that I have received a lunch….but was it really made with love today?
Your loving wife
Rebuttal was both swift and scathing…
I’m not sure how I should handle this…but Jake the Muss comes to mind.
I have had Vegemite (not that heathen crap Marmite) with avocado many a time and it is not only a nutritious and complete meal but you will bloody well eat what I f—cken well make for you, you ungrateful, whinging b—tch!!
Lots of Love, your Master Chef Hubby xxx
This letter has been handed onto someone in the Complaints Dept, which at the moment is being shared with EQC so someone should get back to you within 18mths.