the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Wot’s…Uh the Deal?

I think it's time for a new uniform for the DHB

Just so I have got it right…

Three teenage boys. Check.

An older woman…and a nurse, no less. Check.

Right, are we clear on the main players in this little carry-on? Cool…bear with me please;

At 15 I had a driver’s license, firearms license, shorn and crutched sheep, shot wild deer and pigs, worked on a sheep station, drove tractors and heavy trucks, played Senior Reserve rugby, got pissed every weekend, even dabbled in some weed.

And I loved girls, especially older women. I had already lost my virginity (somewhat ho-hum to be honest) and had my share of handjobs and groping sessions, but being a randy little shit, I masturbated furiously in a feeble attempt to control the burgeoning hormones running amok in my seemingly over-sized testicles. And sneaking my dad’s collection of Playboys, Penthouses and Mayfairs didn’t help.

I was also about a year away from having a sexual liaison with an older woman, and while it isn’t prudent to ask a woman her age, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say she was in her early forties. Call me naive, but if there is any young lad out there who has not, or does not dream of such a thing is bullshitting.

So, what the hell is the deal with this news about a 41 year old nurse being charged with having sexual relations with three 15 year old boys? Normally they would be considered legends for such a thing, and she’s a nurse too!!! Most of us have to beg our wives and girlfriends to wear a nurse’s uniform (I have been out with a few nurses…don’t know what it is, they are definitly something special) and these guys got one dropped, quite literally, into their lap!

OK, if the boys were some sort of retards I would have an issue. And the apparent boozing prior to said acts might be some cause for alarm, but then again, how many of us will honestly put up our hand and claim guilt over a few extra drinks to get into some girl’s knickers?

Seemingly acceptable...

I got into a heated discussion on Twitter last night over this whole thing and it was clear to all five or six of us who got involved that there are some inconsistancies in the system. It seems that while an ‘adult’ can be charged with statuatory rape with a minor under 16, two minors, both under 16  having sex is just ‘growing up’. A 16 year old boy and a 15 year old girl is an issue…would it be the same if the girl was 16 and the boy 15? No matter how you look at it, its all fucked up and there has to be some sort of lateral context taken into account in such incidences.

This might spark some nasty comments which doesn’t bother me in the least; but believe me when I say I am not condoning what the woman did. Somewhere along the line someone has had an issue (maybe not the boys, a parent, a train-spotting nonce who writes into editorials about the degradation of women portrayed in Spray n Wipe advertising?) but it doesn’t make sense in my mind and there maybe something more to the incidents that is not being released or it is a storm in a teacup.

...but not?

While in my 20s I have to admit that while I was attempting to rut anything and everything in sight it always sat in the back of my mind that the girl I happened to sneak out on the following morning might get the beef with me and ‘cry wolf’ (no explanation needed, you know what I am saying).

Lets look at it from another perspective; while I was serving my country and sailing the world, getting mothered at every opportunity, shagging myself senseless and generally being a menace to society, my (now) wife was bopping to New Kids On The Block…she was less than 10 years old. That, according to some bleeding hearts out there makes me a paedo…well, come and try and call me that to my face.

And now I find myself raising two girls. As a father I can safely say I don’t want young lads sniffing round…I know what they’re after…but I can’t belt on a chastity belt and lock them in the castle’s tower either. And if I caught one? Ironically, he wouldn’t (strictly speaking) be breaking the law, but my shooting him is!

Go figure.

PiS…anyone figure out the title?


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