the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Man, that is so gay…sorry, I meant “over-exaggeratedly happy”…


Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is wrong with people today?

I was listening to the radio the other day and it seems there has been a little hoo-ha over the use of the word ‘gay’…well, that seems to be the case, unless you’re gay, and then it’s OK. But when a full-blooded, porn loving, beer-swilling, ball-scratching, farting bloke like me uses it in ANY context, that apparently is gay-bashing and upsets the Hush Puppy wearing community. No, no, no! If I were to call them pillow-biting, pooh-pushing, Marmite-drillers, I could understand  and expect some sort of backlash.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course…

I’m not homo-phobic, in fact I am very much a fan of the lesbian persuasion, but do feel that there is a definite breach of the Fair Trading Act in that those lesbians I have met over the years do not look anything like those on DVD I buy in ‘second-hand bookstores’ behind hanging sheets. Thank you God for having Alison Mau switch sides!

But back to the word. A day or two later someone on Twitter made note of the fact that to use the term ‘gay’ to explain something not entirely ‘cool’ (ergo, “that’s a gay shirt, man”) , and that this will offend gays is a fucken crock of shit and they should move on and harden the fuck up (excusing the pun); where will the political-correctness end?

Will a ‘chink in the armour’ offend the Chinese? Can a newsreader ask for a different ‘slant’ on a story without being stabbed repeatedly by a gang of Triads as he leaves work? Does the fact my cat is named Black Frydhey upset aboriginals (broadly speaking)? And if I were to make a passing comment about the unrestricted importation of coconuts into South Auckland would this alienate the Polynesian community? I mean, there have been a lot on sale there of late…

Sorry, it makes no bloody sense to me, and it will be a cold fucking day in Hell before I start calling Friday the 13th “Coloured Friday”, and Yellow Fever a” Golden Hue with bouts of vomiting and high temperatures not in any way associated with a certain war-mongering nation off the Chinese coast”. And if cats are OK with the haphazard use of the term “pussy”, then I don’t see why we can’t just move on too.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that Dire Strait’s smash hit “Money for Nothing” has been banned for the use of the word faggot…did they not understand Knopfler was referring to an obscure measurement of bundles of sticks?

Is this funny? Or offensive? Who cares…nice tits!!

PiS…the author is by no means a gay-basher, and unlike a certain Paul Henry, pass on apologies for any offence incurred, but never for what I have said.

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