the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Obviously never owned a dog!

Following on from print media ads here are some modern-day fails, each product designed to make you cringe, laugh, become scared…and yes, you guessed it, only in America!

If I tried to put one of these on Scuzzy, my Pitty/Staffy X , one of two things would happen;

  1. Scuz will rip me limb from limb and piss into my empty skull
  2. I will locked up for what must amount to bestiality, surely?

I cannot even to begin on this one…a club to piss in! If he takes the Poo Trap as well, he’s covered. Is there a female variant? About to be released here in New Zealand along similar lines, Uro Sheep: it’s a fake sheep with a cavity for weeing in. Now people won’t double take on you Kiwis when they see you inserting into a sheep cos that’s more normal than pissing everywhere…unless you’re from Hamilton.

LOL! At what point does this chair look relaxing, let alone make working any easier? Might fit in well down here in Christchurch, we’re used to those kind of conditions!

Right, I can supply the exact same solution on this next one for no charge, but tissues and some eyewear may be needed…

Along the same lines I can also provide free consultation in this space as well. Disclaimer: ShakeWeight is not to scale, and may require a nap due to exertions from previous ad campaign.

This last one is a beaut. Available in papal maroon and can be doubled up as a Halloween costume, perfect for scaring young Catholic Alter Boys…


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