the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Food Review – KFC Tower Burger…and another one…


OK @kfcnz high noon @ the Corral, have just ordered a BBQ Bacon & an Original Tower. Let’s hope these 2 quash memories of the last fiasco

…this tweet probably sounds more threatening than it was intended, but on the other side of the coin, the last two visits to said fast food chain were hardly worth writing home about.

Less than an hour ago I moved on down to my local KFC outlet, book in hand (the same one as last week, now about 100 pages from the end, not good meal reading I might add!), and waited to make my order. the lovely young thing behind the counter pointed out she wasn’t going to serve me but was happy enough to chat about the pending doom of the Tower burgers – finishing this Monday it seems (along with the Packs) no doubt to be resurrected sometime next year.

Then finally ordering, and in fairness to KFC I felt I had to trial the other two offerings; Original Tower, and a BBQ Bacon Tower which I had upsized as a combo with fries and Mountain Dew (orange). The BBQ was made into a Zinger, as there is no spice like hot spice.

The first photo depicts my order handed across to me…FAIL. At this point the drool running off my chin in anticipation was now gone and was as dry as an octogenerian’s kiss, and in some ways it got worse.

I have been called many things (honey, sweetie, handsome, awesome, hung-like-a-rogue-elephant, and more recently by my new friend on Twitter – “I have a new friend…” – words I cannot possibly repeat here) but one thing you can bank on is that I am a ‘creature of habit’. This is most noticeable when I eat. I go through routines with my eating that border madness, anal-retentiveness, and downright odd, but KFC put a torpedo right through it with this meal. My intent was to eat the Zinger BBQ Bacon Tower first. Hot and spicy, fresh pallatte…well hang me from a tree and call me a flag, but the Original was in the BBQ box, and obviously that meant vice-versa! Shot all to hell, I wasn’t happy.

Bad enough being served ‘eat here’ in a take out bag that jumbled my serving up like a washing machine, they threw my routine out.

It is also interesting to note that anyone who read an earlier tweet of mine about the box (right side up and all), I opened my fake BBQ Bacon to find it inverted! I took it out at first feeling like a twat for opening the wrong end, but nope, right side up…first impressions, people…

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But, in all fairness, this was a lovely burger. While it didn’t look as tasty as the one up on the board, it was pretty damned good. The chicken was obviously recently cooked (or are they re-heated?) and complimented well with the has brown and cheese.

Fries, again, were disappointing – have you guys pulled back on the secret herbs and spices or something? Some sort of world shortage of plant life brought on by Global Warming? Chips were, like the last time, soggy due to being steamed inside their cardboard hell, and tasteless. Officially lost their mantle as the best fries going round.

A chapter later (sad, sad story, you must read it) I eyed up the Original Tower-come-BBQ Bacon – poor bastard burger, suffering a complex. Well buggar me upside down and sideways, and call me ‘darling’, but this burger too had been place on its head. Is this some sort of “Down Under Special”?

Dear, oh dear…

But, again, the saving grace for this meal was that this burger pulled off as unlikely a win as Crystal Palace beating Man U! Top notch fellas (and gals). Top notch indeed. Not as spicy as McD’s offering last week but more than suitable for the target market which appears to be lower socio-economic, and overweight, family’s which appear to make this their staple diet.

Yep, piss poor at most everything, but credit where credit due…the two burger (and the Mountain Dew) were very, very nice. Not Double Whopper (with Cheese) nice, but nice all the same.

PiS…the body ain’t going to like this latest instalment over the weekend!

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