the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Bitch Session – Councils & Rates

Even my wife was surprised that the email below was my first gripe in a local publication. I know I have a tendency to whinge and moan and throw the odd tanty here and there, but by and large I’m a pretty relaxed fellow, although I do not suffer fools gladly, including myself I might add.

But in reading my local rag and seeing the following I just had to put in my 10c worth…which by the time local body Government take their share, then GST, ACC, exorbitant tax rates, and then just the sheer cost of living, I think I find myself in debt to the tune of about $120.

So, here is the letter that incensed me – the local body has looked at a new way to charge rates on land/houses, and by some far-fetched calculation using the average age of sacrificed virgins less the average score of a Black Cap batsman on tour in Aussie square-rooted they are trying to have some sort of fair (as if) rating system in place, basically, approved extortion;

Please let’s get this rates thing in context. I own four hectares on which I have a modest three bedroom house. I conservatively value my land at $125,000. My rates are $1300 per year. I am retired on a fixed income. MSB (name withheld) owns 1500 hectares, interpolating price per hectare worth some $46 million. Am I really feeling good to pay more rates to reduce hers? I don’t think so.

RW (at some place not far from mine)

My letter to the editor;

Dear Mr RM

 It must be tough for you. Four hectares and you pay $1300/annum? Let me introduce you to our Hell; we live on just shy of two acres (yes acres, not all of us can afford to be Lords and Ladies) and we pay $2600 each year and still have to pay for rubbish collection and drop off our recycle, and on top of that WE are required to maintain a council-owned water-race that runs through our property yet the portion exposed to the public road is overgrown with weeds and is a veritable mosquito nest. So if you wish to take over our little issue with rates, by all means, I will send a moving truck to your place forthwith and help you pack myself.

Complaining via “keyboard courage” against other rate-paying citizens is about as useful as a AA meeting in The Plough; the people who need to feel the brunt of our anger and disgust are the councillors who seemingly pluck ideas out of nothing and transform them into mandate which is as ridiculous as Spike Milligan or Roald Dahl verse.


The “Pissed Off” Alfmeister (I used my real name as that’s the rules)

My Place (which is not far from his place)


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