I have a new friend…
Last night trolling through Twitter, as I am want to do being the hopeless individual I am with no life outside the confines of my own virtual existence, I came across an interesting Tweet-war (new word, like it?) between a Red Bull promo girl and Monty Beetham (a hell of a league player and pretty staunch boxer too I might add) and some fella I can only assume is the poster boy for “Incest – a game the whole family can play”.
And as it is in my nature to step into a fight no matter the consequences I laid down a strategically well-versed insult at the guy to help alleviate the boredom I was then experiencing. He came back with some piss-arsed comment and then disappeared. No sweat, thought nothing of it and went to sleep.
About an hour ago I saw his last response so went ‘a huntin’ for him, although it was never going to be a fair fight;
- Me; charming, good-looking, well-educated, and armed with a rapier wit.
- Him; some redneck Bulldog’s supporter whose only real advantage is that he has 12 fingers, and they’re webbed.
So I found him, and as chance would have it he and a friend (and I use the term lightly, I think his only friends are those who pay him for blowjobs in public toilets) starting to have a crack at a young bird in Aussie. So, stepping into the fold as some sort of www.superhero I laid down another subtle, yet clever barrage aimed at him….well, even the JR Tolkein of Social Media (me) can tell a story as well as this…so here are the parry and thrust of this most manly of acts: handbags at ten paces, for the benefit of my lady readers and in an attempt to maintain some civility, I have blanked out on of his more colourful words, however have happily left the f-bomb in, as this is still a democracy, and it’s a great word when used as an interjection. I am sure sufferers of Tourette’s are sitting there going “Are ya fucken kidding me, mate?”.
Kids let this be a warning to you; too many caffeine drinks, over-indulgence in masturbation, and watching too many episodes of Jersey Shore will make you as gangsta as Vanilla Ice.
For the benefit of “Missy Dee” I have left out her conversations for her own privacy and I am glad I could have been of assistance in blocking @GT2154 and @topgun2356 for you. FYI, it has since transpired that he has stopped following me after a full five minutes. How sad am I? Even Bulldog supporters don’t want to be my friend! GO THE WARRIORS!