the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

It’s a fine line between #1 and the also-rans in music…

"Broccoli has an interesting shape..."

In the latest instalment of classic album covers (and those that should be classics) I’ll start with this genius effort from Bad News, one of my favourite bands. While not considered as artistically aesthetic as Dark Side, or as thought-provoking as Led Zep IV, it no doubt make some think…think again about buying it. To understand the album cover you need to hear “Trousers“, but despite this you may get an idea on its relevance.

The album  itself was released in 1987 by The Comic Strip Presents (search previous Classic Comedy posts) as a UK answer to Heavy Metal giants Spinal Tap. The lineup, unchanged throughout their career (which is rare in the music industry especially with the egos here) consisted of Vim Fuego, lead guitar, lead singer, “lead everything” who in fact is the alter-rgo of house painter Alan Metcalf; Den Dennis, his employee on rhythm guitar; Spider Webb, a druggie-come-hippie on drums; and Colin Grigson, one time banker turned Gene Simmons-esque bassist.

Other than the released cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody” (which was actually produced for them by Brian May and the accompanying video directed by Adrian Edmondson of Young Ones fame) the band never really reached the heights of stardom they sought out, however they were invited to play at the Monsters of Rock festival at Castle Donnington which is an honour bestowed on only the best. However they only managed one song before the crowd (and other acts) stormed the stage putting all four in hospital.

A definite listen for any hard-rock/heavy metal aficionado Bad News will go down as one of the classic albums with worthy tracks such as Masturbike and Warriors of Genghis Khan. I myself use “Drink Till I Die” as my cricket anthem for batting. Voted 4 out of 5 by allmusic.

OK...did you know there is a penis under your chair? Or is that the lead singer?

This next album, well I just don’t know…I had to check up on its authenticity and sure enough, they’re in Wikipedia so they must exist. At first I wasn’t sure if the name was a reference to gay porn or just an unfortunate case of lost in translation, but being Americans (of course they are) it comes back to personal choice…not that there’s anything wrong with that!

A heavy metal act our of California, the band members have names such as Lord Phallus (ego-maniac), Bane Ass-Pounder (part-time guitarist, part-time sodomist), and Phuck Tard (or should that be Turd?). I found some music on You Tube and have to admit, titles and lyrics aside I find the music not bad at all. But this track/video We’ve Got A Bleeder leaves you with more questions than answers.

I guess they don;t have problems getting 'woodies'...

This last one would rate as one of my favourite album covers as well as album titles; “Richard & Willie; Funky Honky, Nasty Nigger”. No more need be said about this, but if someone can send me a link to any of the tracks on it I would be most appreciative as I couldn’t find anything without risk of pulling up some black on white porn! The question begs; who signs up an act like this, and who the fuck listens to it? Maybe its just judging an album by its cover art but the title explains more than is probably necessary. A must for anyone looking to collect the most racially charged recordings of all time…maybe its a protest piece for Mandela?

Is it me or is the bow tie somewhat redundant?


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One thought on “It’s a fine line between #1 and the also-rans in music…

  1. cremoore on said:

    But I thought you enjoyed porn???? CTFU!!!!!

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