Bitch Session feat. Food Review – Burger King
The other night I saw on TV a feast that made me drool more than Homer Simpson…the Burger King Rodeo Quad Stack. Seeing the ad I immediately bailed up the wife for some extra pocket-money to sample one for lunch (yesterday) to which she agreed…YAY!
For those who don’t know, I love BK – Double Whopper with Cheese to me is one of the edible wonders of the world.
So into BK in Shirley and I put in my order for a Quad Meal for $10.40 and sat down in a booth. About five minutes later the table lay bare…the thing was disgustingly delicious however was nowhere near as salacious as a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder or Double Whopper (with or without Cheese).
But at times like this I wish I had so little self-esteem that I could eat myself to death but my Achilles heel is I do have some pride in my health and the burger, fries, and raspberry Schweppes was more than sufficient (this time).
But while this was horribly fantastic, now it’s time to rip into Burger King and the company responsible for their advertising, something I set out to do the moment I saw the ad the previous night.
As you can tell by the pictures, what you think you are going to get and what sits before you are akin to waking up one morning only to find the f-f-ugly (fat and fucken ugly) woman next to you obviously snuck into your room during the night and devoured the hottie you picked up in the bar.
In the pursuit of some sort of justice and in the interest of science I had armed myself with a camera, ruler, and writing pad, and herein lie my findings;
Using the buns I received as a constant – measurements 106mm diameter, 18mm (av.) thickness – I compared to pictures used in advertising
The burger I was served totalled a mere 66mm high. WIth the buns taking 36mm of this that leaves only 30mm for four patties, four slices of cheese and a layer of whatever it was at the top (plus condiments). Sorry, but to me that seems a bit shitty to say the least…the very bloody least.
Looking at it from a different angle (and the view really gets no better), in comparison to the ads (and based only on the bun being ‘constant’), my burger is 63% smaller than it should be – this means either I have been sold a burger 39mm smaller than it should have been, or I was overcharged by $3.90! According to wiki.answers, there is 70g of fat in a Quad Stacker. Now this is an American version which has four rashers of bacon as well (be still my heart) so taking Yahoo! Answers figure of 4.3g of fat per rasher we can safely assume the Stacker is about 57g in fat (which is actually more than the much vaunted Double Down by KFC which you can read in an earlier post).
This in essence means pound-for-pound and dollar-for-dollar, eating my Stacker today worked out as a more expensive method of killing myself than a packet of cigarettes!
And to drive the point home…the picture used in the ad I have attached, in full 830 x 680 form I downloaded it as is BIGGER than the actual burger I had!!! How fucked up is that?!?
Disclaimer…while all attempts were made by the Author to buy a burger comparable to that seen on TV, this may change from restaurant to restaurant, and then also on the person making it out back. Please do not consider the Stacker as an alternative to smoking – while both are fantastically enjoyable, this is only the Author’s dream. Note, Stackers may not be an effective way to commit suicide, but could be considered an ideal way to get really, really fat, and broke. That is all…for now.
PiS…I still love BK. I may just consider negotiating a price next time.
PiSS…despite rumours, I did not have sexual relations with any/all of the women in the last photo. They wanted to but I was abstaining for the All Blacks…shit! I’m a Wallabies supporter!!! Girls…Girls?