the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Who you calling a cheat?



For those who haven’t read the article yet, a Pommy reporter has labelled the All_Blacks_’cheats’ in the lead up to the RWC. Now this comes as no surprise as the shit tends to be flung about more often than in a cage of chimps, but as usual it is the response from the Kiwi public that has me laughing so hard that my coffee comes streaming out my nose. And of course, Kiwi’s being thin-skinned as they are, lacking humour (I mean, look at Goff and Harawira), are up in arms about the allegations.In a reaction akin to beaten children in Chinese sweatshops, the NZ rugby ‘fraternity’, and the armchair critics are hitting back with biting rebuttal such as “oh yeah?”, and “bollocks”. And blame of past losses are never far away, are they?

To me it is the memory loss of New Zealander’s that riles me to the point of wanting to shoot, pluck, and eat the national bird…how convenient that they have forgotten such statements as John Drake claiming the Wallabie’s scrum collapses on purpose, and Hanson bleating that Burgess ‘spun’ the ball into his hooker’s rake, and how many times have we heard crying from the rooftops about obstruction, running angles and flat passes…tip; shut your fucken mouth and deal with it. As the old saying goes, bounces off me and sticks to you (or someting like that).

I have just sent the following enquiry to Kleenex via their website and will update with any response – shit! Should have made it clear to bill John Key;


attn. Marketing Dept
Kleenex Tissues

Good Morning.

Today I read an article here in New Zealand where a Pommy reporter labelled the All Blacks as cheats. Now this had a typical response from the nation, rugby followers or not, and they have been quick to rally in that most noticeable of hakas, “I’m taking my toys and playing with someone else’. Ironic that the staple diet of the nation is the potato chip when they all seem to have their fair share on their shoulders. And the term bleating is also apt in a nation where sheep are not just a way of life, they are the cornerstone to any loving relationship.
Can I please order 4.5 million tissues to hand out to every man (and I use the term lightly) woman and child here in NZ to wipe away their tears? Might pay to order more for each Pom and Aussie as well as the tears of laughter are too much.
With many regards
the alfmeister
Professor of Kiwi-tantrums


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One thought on “Who you calling a cheat?

  1. the alfmeister on said:

    And to point out to me that it seems Aussies lack humour, here is the response from Kleenex;

    Thank you for contacting us recently with your enquiry regarding our Kleenex® Tissues.

    Unfortunately, Kimberly-Clark Australia does not have any factory outlets or seconds products, nor do we sell direct to the public.

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