the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

A Quick Fix…Cooking for Blokes

I thought I would add a few of my throw togethers” that I have done over the years as a bachelor, boyfriend, host and husband. Not that I’m a cook, far from it. Apart from cooking my own goose, and using cooking oil in some strange sex play, I am as wise on cooking as Idi Amin is on being discreet. However, in saying that, I know what tastes good, and seem to have an eye, or buds, for combining things that compliment each other.

While I can follow a recipe with relative ease (although the kitchen would decry mass mayhem not seen since the Normans, most that come off well have come as a result of me trying to make up time when asked to cook but that time I though I had up my sleeve was willed away in front of ESPN with beers.

My first recipe is one I did last night, and have done now and again for myself as a snack, as it is easy, takes buggar all prep, and can be changed somewhat to suit the individual.

ALF’S FLIED LICE (sorry David, I couldn’t resist; David being a mate of mine of Chinese descent…and he drives a hotted up Civic, so he deserves the stereotype!)

  • 2 cups of rice (although this can be altered depending on how many people you intend to feed)
  • five or six button mushrooms
  • a couple of sticks of celery
  • broccoli (if available)
  • a cup of frozen vege (Chuck Style works really nice, but plain Jane carrots, peas and corn is more than suitable)
  • 100g of bacon (a personal favourite, however chicken and pork will work as well but with less flavour – note, I have had this with no meat)
  • powdered chicken or beef stock
  • cooking oil
  • 2 chillis, or chilli flakes
  • soy sauce
  • beer

Put your rice into a microwave bowl. Add two cups of boiling water to every cup of rice. Sprinkle in some stock powder (I like putting chicken in if the meat is not chicken, and vice-versa for that ‘combination’ style taste). If you are using chilli flakes, sprinkle as much as you like for kick. Mix it with a fork and stick in the microwave on high for 11mins.

While this is going on, cut the bacon and veges (other than frozen) up into smallish size bits and fry in pan with a splash of oil with actual chillis (if not using flakes) and only just have them starting to cook.

When rice has stopped, add frozen veges to the bowl and restart for a further three minutes. When finished, scoop all out into frypan with meat and vege on high and keep turning the mix over with a spatula. Add a good portion of cooking oil at this point as well as much soy sauce as you feel appropriate (I like just enough to discolour the rice and give a salty taste). You can add some oyster or fish sauce too if you so wish, just be wary of overpowering it.

Keep turning it over until the sauces have got through all the rice but not too long that the rice starts to dry out.

Beer serves no purpose in this meal other than drinking before, during, and afterwards. Drink responsibly, and never drink and fry…



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