the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

New from the world of hypnosis…


hyp·no·sis

/hɪpˈnoʊsɪs/ [hip-noh-sis]

–noun, plural -ses  /-siz/ 

1. an artificially induced trance state resembling sleep, characterized by heightened susceptibility to suggestion.
 
 
Direct from the people who tell you that everything in life is not your fault, it’s just your mind fucking with you, here is a couple of more doozies I have received…
 
Boost Your Ability to Resist Peer Pressurethis is how it reads in the sell;

“Can you say ‘no’ to a group if you really believe no? Are you able to express your own opinions even if they conflict widely with ‘group consensus?’ Peer pressure has been responsible for some of the worst atrocities in history.”

I didn’t know Celine Dion was a result of peer pressure? Ummm, rightio…if it is that bad, and these guys wouldn’t lie, best I get out my Menthols and have a smoke to relax…want to join me? What do you mean you don’t smoke?! You a girl or something?!?

Bounce Out Of Bed– “Set your unconscious mind to love mornings. Since I have hypnotically ‘re-programmed’ my morning response I now awake with zest and energy. Imagine what it’s going to be like to bounce out of bed, excited by the challenges and opportunities of the day ahead!”

Well I can tell you this, telling your wife she was less than impressive the night before certainly has you out of bed quickly, and bouncing off the floor!

How to Stop Being Irritable This has to be one of the best tags I have ever seen – talk a bout hitting the ‘pain point’ of someone…

“Do you sometimes feel driven to the brink of murder by your irritation with the trivial annoyances of daily life? You are not alone.”

As recommended by Charles Manson!!! In his own words; “Before the Sharon Tate ‘incident’, I struggled with day-to-day life, often stressing and worrying about the wife and kids, the mortgage, and this stupid band of hippies who followed me around everywhere. It got too much, and I guess I just snapped? If only someone had told me about Hypnosis Downloads, and I had a computer, and internet, and world webby thing, I could have been a better man. But now I have had my brain reprogrammed, and I am a changed soul and only now think about pulling wings off flys in my cell. The voices are still there, but I’m sure they mean no harm – maybe Hypnosis will give me a download for that?”

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