the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!


>
  =============== 
Customer:   Hi,  this is Celine … I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support:
Have you tried pushing  the Button?
Customer:
  Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech  support:
  That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer:
  No , wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry… =============== 
Tech  support:  ;   Click  on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  
 Your left or my left? =============== 
Tech  support:   Good  day. How may I help you?
Male  customer:
  Hello.. I can’t print.
Tech support:
Would you click on  ‘start’  for me and….
Customer:
Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.. 
 =============== 
Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find  printer’  I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it. ==============
Customer:
I have  problems printing in red..
Tech  support:
  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:
  Aaaah………………..thank you. =============== 
Tech  support:   What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer:
  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== 
Customer: My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support:
Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:
No. I can’t  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:
  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:
!   OK
Tech support:
Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:
 Yes
Tech support:
That means the keyboard  is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:
Yes, there’s another one here. Ah that one does work.. ============= 
Tech  support:   Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in  apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:
Is that 7 in capital  letters ? 
=============== 
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support:
  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:
Yes, I’m sure I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:
  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:
Five dots. 
 =============== 
Tech  support:   What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:
Netscape.
Tech support:
That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer:
Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer. =============== 
Customer:    I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== 
Tech support:   How may I help you?
Customer:
I’m writing my first email.
Tech support:
  OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:
Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? =============== 
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:
Are you running it under windows?
Customer:
‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’ =============== 
And last but not least… 
 Tech  support: ‘Okay Bob, let’s  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program  Manager.’
Customer:
I don’t have a P.
Tech  support:
On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:
What do you mean?
Tech support:
‘P’…..on  your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:
I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Tech  support:   What kind of computer do you have? Customer:   A  white one… 

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: