the alfmeister

a figment of reality's imagination

Animal Farm


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Animals, animals, animals, animals…everywhere!!!

I have had a lot of pets over the years…a couple of mongrel dogs called Bill (not much thought into their name obviously), a cat called Smokey comes to mind, a Budgie whose name escapes me (if I did in fact name it), and briefly, some cockabullies I caught in the Blythe River when I was young.

I love animals, and strongly support the SPCA to the point where I won’t give to other charities as people (to an extent) have the ability to speak up, defend themselves, and have more support services to lean on than animals do…the SPCA is in my will to receive my whole estate should the tragic event of me, my wife, and our two kids were to be erased…let’s hope not eh?


Anyways……I currently have in my stable of fine steeds…

  • Scuzzy – American Staffy X, about 10 years old now, my little baby. I inherited her from a friend when I managed a farm in Auckland as he ‘found’ her as she wandered through his fence from a property of disrepute…I was concerned as I had many small animals and a lot of kids visiting my farm at the time so was concerned for the reputation this breed has. But to prove me wrong, and many others since, this is the best, most loyal dog you can get.
  • Tash – a 1 year old Black Lab, who is your stereotypical Labrador!!!! When we moved to CHCH from Auckland, it seemed Scuzzy didn’t transition so well despite having 2 acres to run, so we discussed getting a companion. At the Oxford Markets one Sunday, a lady selling food no less, had two Black Lab pups and Katie fell in love! By the time we got back home she was on the phone buying her. She moved in Xmas day last year and our eldest daughter (5 at the time) said “Look! One of the reindeer has had a baby and left it for us!”. Priceless. Due to Tash we did get to ‘meet’ most of our new neighbours….
  • Frydhey (aka Black Frydhey) – black and white tom, getting near on 15 years now, still sprightly and seemingly healthy. Brother of…
  • Sydney – tortoise shell that came from the SPCA in Auckland. I admit I am more of a cat person, they have an air of grace, while giving off an attitude. They don’t need as much attention, and they are great comfort as they lay beside on you on the couch (sofa to you Americans) or on the bed. She-Indoors doesn’t let them have that privilege anymore. These two got their names from an incentive my work was holding at the time. I was in Used Car Sales, and the incentive was to hit personal target three months in a row to get a trip to Sydney paid for for two. This coincided with me wanting to fly over for my dad’s 50th and he lived in Sydney, and I had booked the flights for Friday the Thirteenth, hence Black Frydhey (look, it’s my cat, I will spell it how I want).
  • Somewhere in the region of 100 fish – colds and tropicals – these can be viewed on www.WetDreamz.co.nz.

In memoriam…or just lost contact.

  • Smokey – cat I had when I was about 10 in Cheviot. MIA. Notable achievement, dragging a bloody big possum onto our front lawn it had seemingly killed. Took on an air of that psycho cat in Pet Semetary.
  • Unnamed Budgie – about the same time. Dead. No great loss, didn’t do much anyway.
  • Various tadpoles and cockabullies taken form the creek on the farm. Died horrible deaths as I didn’t know how to care for them. Sorry. Started my fascination with fish though…I know, tadpoles aren’t fish!!!
  • Lucy – short-haired Collie I had as sheep dog in Auckland. Had her for a year, but when I left the farm it wasn’t fair to keep her in the ‘burbs, so we sold her. She was a good girl.
  • Bill I – German Shepherd when we first moved to Cheviot. Don’t really remember much of him, I was a tot.
  • Bill II – mongrel dog we owned in Cheviot which had a skill of slipping his collar and disappearing for the day. After it was found he had killed a lamb in the back blocks, his fate was sealed.
  • Pete and Tan – eye dogs for shed work and tailing. Classic old workers. Miss you.
  • Clayton & Jock – huntaways for working the back blocks. Great big old buggars. Miss you too.
  • Moss – semi-huntaway and semi-shed worker. shaggy thing that required to be shorn with sheep. Don’t miss you so much.
  • Samoyed – can’t remember the name – bought it for a girlfriend…geez, the bloody thing didn’t stop yapping. She gave it back, and I sold it to a breeder.
  • Lucy – short-haired Border Collie – my sheep dog when working at Mt Albert Grammar. Great working dog, and pet. Sold her when I left the farm as it is not fair to have this breed in the ‘burbs.
  • Itchy – Kune Kune (Potbelly) pig – was the runt of a litter from a sow I had at Mt Albert Grammar. Hand reared it and it became a pet. It used to come through the dog door for feeding, went to cricket matches with me, and used to chase and fetch a ball too! Gave him away to a friend who owned some acreage in Sth Auckland where at last news was definately no runt.
  • Scotty The Highland Bull (original name huh?) – was the resident celebrity at Mt Albert. Huge bastard of a thing, he was docile enough to let kids sit on his back. I remember once at home and my young girl said that Scotty was ‘out’. When I looked out the window, he had picked the steel frame gate off the hinges and bent it in half in order for some ‘rutting’!!! Hairy attempts to get him back in! He was old to a mate when he started getting too old and tetchy, and was sold to the works.
  • Warney – Wessex pig – was donated to Mt Albert from Auckland Zoo as he was too big to reside there. He was NZ’s largest pig. I named him this as a local bakery provided me crates of expired pies and pasteries – “who ate oll the pies?” Shot by local pig hunter – I was gutted (so was he).
  • Dennis – my Pleco. The longest living fish I ever had. Came with me through three house moves over a few years, but his travel bag popped on the final move south to CHCH last year. RIP buddy.
  • Dr. Seuss – Black Moor (cold water fish) – strictly my daughter’s fish, but as she didn’t look after it, it may as well have been mine. He survived the move down here, but got sick (unknown condition) and he had to take the final flush goodbye.
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