It’s the kind of story that makes us laugh in TV shows and movies – boy meets girl through email or a website, falls in love with the imagination of who she is, and is ultimately disappointed in the face to face meeting…
…in a roundabout way that happened to me today, and boy am I fucked off with it. OK, it wasn’t a girl, it was a burger, but the principles are the same, let me explain (although for those of you who have read my rantings over time will know where I am going with this).
On what planet does this…
It was an impulse decision to get some fast food for lunch and my attempt to get McDonald’s was scuppered by a lack of parking and I happened across a Burger King on my travels. Now I am one of BK’s biggest fans, the Whopper family has given me a load of fine memories and as I walked into the restaurant (is it me or is the term ‘restaurant’ a bit too much for a burger bar?) I was fair salivating at the prospect. And whereas I would normally order and devour my standard fare a change was in the winds and looking at the board the King’s Selection caught my eye, and in particular the Streaky Bacon Steakhouse. At $11.60 for a regular meal it had me thinking I was onto a gourmet winner, the picture depicting it almost sated my appetite alone…
OK, I know I spouted the genius of Star Wars last week, but it wouldn’t be complete without this, the greatest spoof made, even as quoted by George Lucas himself!
I remember seeing this when I was young enough to barely even know what a ‘parody’ was and pissed myself laughing about it. I saw Mel Brooks’ own piss-take “Spaceballs” which was nowhere near as funny in my mind and tried for years to find it somewhere to watch again. Now with just about anything and everything available on YouTube (provided SOPA/PIPA have not been brought into law) I located it while posting about Star Wars.
So here, in its entirety, in two chapters, please enjoy with me the comic classic, Hardware Wars!
PiS…you know what? I might just make my own take on this…who’s with me?
Disclaimer; actual burger may differ from that advertised…hang on! Was there tomato in the burger????
It was hardly a stack…more a small pile but I do see what they’re trying to do.
In the latest line of promotional food lines by the yellow arches we see one of life’s biggest contradictions; fast food promoting the world’s elite athletes, although I suppose that the majority of said athletes are injecting, ingesting, and investing in all manner of artificially produced steroids and supplements makes the link a little more believable.
But we’re not here to cast aspersions on the farce that is the Olympic Games, that’ll come in due course…to the burger itself.
I haven’t had the opportunity to let myself go on one of the big three in some time so was pleasantly surprised when the wife gave me some pocket-money to splash out on lunch today, and so it was rushing off the McD’s to see what new was on the menu.
The ‘Sydney Stack’ stood out, partly due a sense of patriotism at being an Aussie, partly because the other promotional offering, Atlanta’s Pork McRib looked like the Atlanta Letter Bomber had gotten to it first. And as my eyes are always larger than my stomach, and hindsight is 20/20 I ordered the large combo which set me back $11. Read more…
I remember as a young fella listening to the radio about the upcoming launch of Star Wars VI; Return of The Jedi and they actually interviewed Darth Vader, and he was saying something like “I’m going to defeat the Rebels once and for all”, and all I could remember was being shit scared as I had seen Vader in the first two movies and now figured him to be real, like a real villain, out there in space and all that!!
OK, looking back on it makes me feel silly, although I am sure there are plenty of uber-geeks who are nodding their heads right now going “I understand, friend, I understand. May the Force go Forth and Prosper” and all that shit…
If there was a movie that made as big an impact as Star Wars IV: A New Hope on pop culture, I have yet to see it. Sure over the years some movies have become bigger sellers and such, but remember they owe it all to a movie that didn’t have the media exposure, the technology, the theatres, videos and DVDs that are available nowadays. At the risk of sounding like an old fart, give me the original Star Wars Trilogy over the bespectacled Harry Potter any day of the week, and twice on Sunday!
Dateline, 25th May 1977, and scrolling up screens around the world were the iconic words, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…” followed by one of the most recognisable musical scores of all time before a brief intro into the story which is abruptly smashed apart by an Imperial cruiser trying to pummel a smaller Corellian corvette into oblivion…
George Lucas wrote the original Star Wars based on an idea he had when he made American Graffiti in 1973 and slowly over the years it expanded into the storyline we all know and love, and had teasers pointing to a previous history which would then become the prequels in years to come. Universal gave the go ahead for Star Wars (and then its two sequels) to be made and Lucas considered the second two to be written as novels that could be adapted into screenplays should Star Wars be successful.
The use of “Episodes” was not injected until the follow-up (although most people will now see it on what is now Episode IV: A New Hope), and in a change from what Hollywood demanded, Lucas chose not to use the ‘proper’ opening sequence which listed title, actors and technical assistants in place of the opening ‘scroll’ which has become synonymous with the franchise.
The music was done by composer John Williams who was already famous for his Jaws score and won him the Oscar, Grammy, Globe and BAFTA for Star Wars. Apart from the opening track (Star Wars: Main Theme) The Imperial March would go down as two of the most spectacular, and most used tunes in history.
Special effects were very much in their infancy in the 70s and while Jaws made a giant leap forward in this medium, Star Wars set the benchmark on which all other movies would be set. From the landscapes of the planets to the weapons, ships, sounds and cannon fire, there would hardly be any other movie or TV show (maybe Star Trek) where every sound, character, quotes, ships or music would be as instantly recognised universally.
For me, and not being that big on the whole Sci-Fi genre, Star Wars is the movie, and the trilogy (even with those annoying little furballs, The Ewoks) are the greatest movies of all time. In another 35 years, what will people be saying about it?
…a comedy of transdimensional tomfoolery, by Tom Holt…
Loved it…and if you are a fan of ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’, ‘Red Dwarf’, or even love “Back to the Future’ you are going to enjoy this.
Meet Polly, she is an in-house lawyer who starts noticing that someone is drinking her coffee, and writing ‘HELP’ on her notebook. And when she can’t find her local dry cleaners when she goes to pick up a dress, she has a slight suspicion something is amiss.
Getting her brother, Don, a muso (of course) to pick it up for her (to confirm of deny the dry cleaner is where it is meant to be) he also finds it ‘missing’…however, with the assistance of some strands of hair, a shape-changing pencil sharpener, and concentric universe methodology, he retrieves the dress…and so starts a tale that requires more than just lateral thought processes.
This book snaps you right from the word go by providing us the inner-thoughts of a farmyard sow (yes, of the pig variety) whose command of thermonuclear physics but lack of opposable thumbs is priceless, and rarely does the book stop blowing your mind. But unlike a lot of books, it actually gets funnier and funnier, and when Stan Gogerty (a transcendental sleuth) is called in to assist with explaining it all, I nearly lost it. His explanation of concentric universes is uproariously funny and his self-thought processes are amusing.
And it all boils down to one thing…the most asked question there is; What came first? The chicken or the egg….and you will soon know the answer and be set free!
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